What options do you have? Why is it so difficult for a child to tell their parents everything that is going on in their lives? So, why don’t you ask that question yourself? Why couldn’t you tell your parents about your school problems, or about being wasted at a party till 3 a.m., and so on?
Is it because you think they wouldn’t comprehend what you’re going through? Or is it possible that there isn’t a solid basis of trust and transparency? In just a few minutes, you’ll find out more.
Communication is crucial.
The ability to communicate and receive information is known as communication. People can’t survive without communication since it allows them to feel like they belong to a group. The family unit is the most important group in this scenario. Why?
The first group to which a child is exposed is his or her family. A unit that debriefs a person on appropriate and inappropriate behaviour while also recognising their wants and needs. A family can also be compared to a soccer team, with the parents as the coach and the children as the players.
Samantha replied, clutching her fists together and gulping uncomfortably, “Mom, I have to go to the basketball event on Friday.”
You can distinguish two sorts of communication in the scenario: verbal and non-verbal.
The word “verbal” refers to what you say. Samantha informed her mother about a Friday night event, and she wants her mother to understand.
The action you display is nonverbal. Samantha’s anxiousness was visible in her gestures as she sought her mother’s approval. What exactly does this imply? You may read it to mean that she’s worried that her mother won’t approve of her or that she’s concealing something.
What do you believe is the most effective and efficient of these two? Nonverbal communication has been found in studies to reveal a person’s true self. Although verbal communication can be twisted, nonverbal communication provides a glimpse into a person’s true feelings.
What is the best way to communicate effectively?
Effective communication should not be strained; rather, it should be unrestricted by restrictions and limitations. There are five steps to effectively speaking with your children.
1- Make it a routine.
It’s just as important to teach your child the behaviours you want them to have when they’re old enough as it is to teach them norms. Before you take action, consider whether it will be beneficial in the long run.
Making it a habit to sit down and talk with your child is a terrific way to improve your communication skills. What is the best way to make this basic activity? You and your family can enjoy dinner together while reminiscing about the events of the day. Alternatively, you may take your youngster out on a weekly date night.
2- Take an Interest
One of the reasons why kids don’t tell us that they believe it will tyre you. Put your phone away and stare at them with excited, curious eyes to show your attention.
You can ask how their day went as soon as they get home, for example. Alternatively, if they say something, make sure you listen and remember it.
3- Stop humiliating people.
It’s not a good idea to compare your youngster to other kids. You’re not only making your child feel like he or she isn’t “good enough” for you, but you’re also creating a barrier for him or her to open up.
“Kate can always fold and straighten her bed, why can’t you?” rather than “Kate can always fold and straighten her bed, why can’t you?” You ought to say, “Amanda, when you’re an adult, you’ll have to make your bed. What better time to put your skills to the test than now? ”
4- Threats should be avoided.
Are you the type of parent that says, “It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay “Because your curfew is at midnight, you better not be out drinking and partying! You’ll be grounded if I find out.” It’s natural to want to protect your child, but this isn’t the best method to do it.
Allowing your child to be aware of the dangers of being out unattended with youngsters their age is an alternative.
5- Assist and instruct
Being a parent entails more than just paying for your child’s education and necessities. You should also consider how to lead your youngster in the appropriate direction.
When a person feels threatened, it is human nature to erect a wall, according to studies. This is especially true when reprimanding your youngster.
What you can do is propose solutions to a problem. In this manner, your youngster will not only know that his or her parents care about him or her but will also be willing to lend a hand. Even whether it’s something as simple as homework or chores.
A child communicates himself through words and actions, although he is often contradictory. They obfuscate what they truly want to communicate. Why? Parents tend to expect the worst from their children. “No! It’s far too risky. What would happen if “, which is why children choose to be cautious about what they say to their parents.
So, why do kids keep their feelings and thoughts to themselves rather than telling their parents? If you’ve gone through this and wondered why you did the same thing to your parents, you already know the reason!
The child might be able to:
Don’t worry if you don’t comprehend what’s going on.
Children may believe that if they tell you about their worries and feelings, you would respond with a loud laugh or a reprimand. This is a symptom that you’re trying to escape embarrassment.
Believe me when I say that you understand how I feel.
Some children comprehend that you may have faced similar difficulties. You may know too much about how it feels once they tell you, and all they want to do is keep you scared.
You want to deal with it on your own.
Some children aspire to be self-sufficient and believe they do not want adult assistance. Also, they must demonstrate that they are capable of making an “adult-like” judgement.
There are four different categories of kids:
Accept the situation as it is.
When there isn’t a problem, a child who doesn’t make a decision. It’s the same as cramming for a test for an hour.
Competition is what motivates children; they enjoy the thrill of disputing or winning. These children like to participate in competitions or just achieve high marks on a test.
Those who are unable to follow an individual’s developmental stages. It may take some time for them to adjust, but once they do, things will be much easier. Never put pressure on kids to learn something they aren’t ready for.
A child can be a mixture of all of these things. A child may be gifted in arithmetic but despises science.
How do you form a solid bond?
It takes time to develop a strong bond. The majority of parents use domineering parenting, which makes youngsters feel uneasy. When both parent and kid take the time to comprehend and consider each other’s feelings, they form a close link.
A successful parent-child relationship is built on five principles:
“It’s not a problem; you can start afresh. But this time, I’ll assist you in learning the material so that you don’t fail the next test! “, screamed Andi’s mother.
Accept the fact that your child is unique and that comparing them to others is pointless. Each youngster can learn; the only question is how quickly or slowly they will do it. Stop stating things like, “When I was your age, I could do…” and other similar things to your children.
“You’re bothered by something. Do you want to discuss it?”
Spending time with your child is essential. Being able to be with your child suggests you have a strong attachment. Give a few minutes of your time, even if you’re working all day. If you don’t talk to each other, you won’t be able to form a solid bond.
You won’t allow your child much independence if you doubt them. If you think you’re doing the right thing, reconsider. In any relationship, trust is essential; without it, you’ll be restless and paranoid.
When you distrust your child, they are aware of it. They’ll reassure you rather than tell you everything.
“It’s better to attempt and fail than not to try at all,” says the author.
When a youngster loses faith in himself or herself, a parent must be present. Play the role of a cheerleader, encouraging others and pointing out the advantages of failure.
The physical link
To survive, an infant requires the warmth of their mother. Every youngster requires reassurance from their parents; a simple touch or embrace can suffice to reassure your child.
According to studies, children who have greater physical touch with their parents have higher self-esteem and pride than those who do not.