The Time To “Stop” And “Listen” In The Parent-Child Relationship – Ehouset

"Parenting IS the most difficult job in the world!" exclaims every new parent. A simple nod or a chuckle might suffice, but you won't know until your baby is born. "Nah, it doesn't sound too horrible," I'm sure you were thinking. When your child is born, your social life comes to an end; no more going out on Fridays to catch up with friends. Instead, you'll be at home taking care of your infant.

 

 

You may have imagined that you could go for a run first thing in the morning! However, until your infant starts wailing for milk or a diaper change, you’ll be yearning for a few minutes of sleep.

 

Parenting Expectations vs. Reality

 

Ah! We all believed it would be simple. YOU had a vision – family vacations, fun kid activities, firsts for your baby, and so on – but things don’t always go as planned.

 

Sleeping

 

As you cradle your infant to sleep, you turn off the lights and tune up the lullaby track tunes. You’ll tuck your youngster into bed in half an hour and sleep by him all night.

 

Reality: It’s 11 p.m., and your infant isn’t showing any symptoms of tiredness. Even if the youngster sleeps, the wails would wake you up every few hours.

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Food

 

Expectations: You’ll be able to feed your youngster both vegetables and meat with ease.

 

Reality: Your youngster screams and pushes the food away. At the end of the day, you’ll be cleaning up a LOT of spoiled food.

 

Bathing

 

Expectation: While you scrub and wash him clean, your toddler is in the tub playing with a rubber duck.

 

Reality: You’re going to get wet while bathing your child. There will be instances when your child refuses to enter the room!

 

Social Interactions

 

Expectation: After a long week, you’re out with your friends on Saturday evening. You’d have a great time laughing and dancing all night.

 

Reality: You’ll call it off on Saturday morning because you’re still fatigued from the sleepless nights. You’d rather sleep than go out any day.

 

These are some examples of parenting’s reality. Of course, it isn’t necessarily a terrible thing. Being a parent brings with it a wealth of wonderful experiences.

 

  • Being able to see your child for the first time is a wonderful feeling.
  • Observing as he explores the world, his eyes shining with delight as he moves from one object to the next,
  • The infectious laugh of a child,
  • The calm expression on your child’s face while he or she rests in your arms, and so much more.

 

As the youngster matures…

 

There will be new and difficult difficulties to solve. Problems, on the other hand, are accompanied by wonderful and unforgettable memories.

 

Let’s get right to the point: children will not always do what they desire. Your youngster will do what he believes is proper as he grows older. There’s nothing wrong with that; it demonstrates a desire to be self-sufficient.

 

What’s unacceptable, however, is the child’s refusal to listen to you! What is the reason for this? Is it a desire for independence?

 

There is only one cause, which the majority of parents reject. Communication in a nutshell. “What?! But I make it a point to speak with my child!”

 

What is the root of your inability to communicate effectively? Are you one of them?

 

1- The “lecturer” is a person who gives lectures.

We’ve all been on the receiving end of our parents’ “don’t do this because…” lectures.

Was it of any use to you? Yes, on occasion. But what if your parents begin to talk incessantly? You might find yourself looking off into space or simply ignoring them.

 

A child’s attention span is limited. As a result, it’s recommended to send your message in under 30 seconds. But what if it doesn’t work in the end? Perhaps you’re the type of parent who declares…

 

2- “No is no!”

Or if you say something nasty such as, “You can’t do that!” ” while yelling loudly and pointing a finger
So, what’s the issue here? If you use the term “you” a lot, the youngster can get the impression that they’re being attacked or accused of something. Remember that if you keep saying no, the person will do exactly what you don’t want.

 

3- Only yelling is a choice.

Consider this scenario: Your youngster is engrossed in his phone game, and you contact him several times. It’s enough to attract his attention if you start shouting.

Parents resort to yelling, and children only pay attention when they do. Why? Because they’ve concluded that when you yell, you mean business.

 

4- Having a conversation with a child who isn’t paying attention

Cynthia is engrossed in a Netflix video when her mother enters and says, “What did I say about your clothing being strewn around, Cyn? For once, can’t you…”

As parents, we can’t avoid having a conversation right away. The sound of our voice, we believe, would perk up our child’s ears. The main issue here is that you don’t get your child’s attention first before giving him or her a message.

 

5- Making a domineering child

If your child is accustomed to getting their way, you may have a dominating child. A domineering child is someone who solely listens to what they want and does what they want.

This type of conduct is created by spoiling and giving in to tantrums in early childhood.

 

6- Mental Illness

Your family should exercise mental health awareness. You’ve tried everything to convince your youngster to listen, but all you get is a resounding NO. What exactly does this imply? It’s best to get a check-up if you suspect you have an issue, such as hearing loss.

Oppositional Defiant Disorder is a disorder in which your youngster refuses to listen to anyone. The child will be so animated that he or she will get out of hand.

 

What should I do?

 

Have you ever been in a scenario like this before? When you ask your child to do something, he refuses. You’ll inquire in a friendly manner, yet you’ll still get a negative response. Even if he throws a tantrum, your child will emphatically state “NO!”

 

“Help! Should I resort to retaliation?” “Do you think that’s the best solution? Punishment, in all honesty, causes more issues. Your youngster is more prone to be disobedient and difficult. So, what are your options? Discipline.

 

Discipline is a more practical approach to parenting. Rather than the old-fashioned “do as your parents say,” discipline encourages us to work WITH our children.

 

What exactly do you expect to gain from this?

 

Being more patient is one of the most important things you can do.

 

Feel the emotional tie that exists between you and the person you’re talking to.

 

Desire to lead by example

 

Communication will improve as you do this. Instead of you starting the conversation, your youngster would most likely approach you and say, “Mom and Dad, my day was…”

 

However, there are times when your child’s main want is to spend meaningful time with you. There are moments when we become preoccupied with our lives, such as when we need to finish up some paperwork at home, prepare dinner, or go to bed.

 

Yes, you make an effort to chat, but it’s merely a passing conversation “How are you doing today? What were your activities at school? “.

 

Sometimes your child does reach out, but you are unaware of it. “Why don’t you listen to me?” you might ask your youngster. “Because you don’t,” you’ll almost certainly hear. I’m not sure how that’s possible.

 

While you’re working on a task, we may say, “Okay, yes, I’m listening.” What your child truly wants is for you to look at them and show interest in what they’re doing.

 

What would you do if you were in the middle of a crucial meeting and the president was texting on his phone? Aren’t you going to be dissatisfied and offended? You were so looking forward to giving your speech, but all you get is a half-hearted recognition.

 

That’s how your youngster feels when you do something else while he’s talking. Your child may believe that his parents do not value him sufficiently.

 

These are the three questions you should ask yourself…

 

As parents, we tend to speak in a commanding manner. It’s the same as saying, “Hear me roar and be terrified.” Why do we settle for something we don’t want to go through? To say something that will anger us?

 

The three simple questions will be sufficient to assist you in reaching self-awareness. Is it true that I’m doing the best I can for my child? What should I work on?

 

1- What is the cause of my child’s misbehavior?

Find the source of the problem before lecturing or scolding your child. What’s the source of this odd behavior? What caused your child’s silence? The answer is sometimes obvious, but we need a gentle shove to notice it.

2- What is my child’s reaction?

Children are human beings, and they tend to hide in a cocoon when you scream. Try to put yourself in your child’s place and imagine how you’d feel if you were on the receiving end of your rage.

3- What effect does this strategy have?

Punishment breeds harmful conduct while indulging your youngster breeds dependency. Discipline, on the other hand, develops a child’s maturity and emotional stability.

Sometimes all your child needs is a listening ear, some comforting hugs and kisses, and the knowledge that home is where they can be “you.”

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